This is the result of a "check all the boxes" assignment in a Contemporary Pop Culture in Modern Poetry course I took to fulfill an English Arts elective. I did exactly that and got my 100% grade. I haven't yet decided how I want to edit this - or if I just want to leave it as clunky as it is. Either way, it was too fun not to share with the world.
A man's most prized appendage is a turtle head.
Cowled and collapsed at rest, snuggled in skin sleeping soundly,
visions of shelled dreams dance behind drooped lids.
Upon waking, a ravenous hunger takes hold, and with
tiny peanut brain, takes control of the entire male being.
Perked up, neck stretched straight and stiff,
it leads and guides, a divining rod for satisfaction,
bobbing and weaving, drunkenly staggering, to and fro,
finally fixating on the intoxicating sweet crisp scent of velvet greenery.
Cloying honey drenched tongue's memory,
Drool drips in anticipation,
I licked it, so it's mine!
Echoing sound waves of Lyn's favorite statement surface
(she will get to say it next time, he promises)
and vibrate like a shiver over flesh, amplifying
appetite cravings to that of Thespiae's Colossal Eros.
Parting the leaves, the turtle burrows into the penetralia of the lettuce
seeking the treasure trove of heart, deep within the primal core.
Guttural grunts mingle with passionate moans as pleasure, mounts.
Falling, face first, into a dish, like creamed pie, has never been so grand!
The turtle's Adam's apple pulses, with desire, sated. Fed and full,
chin rests on pillow as slumber takes hold.
Showing posts with label College Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College Writing. Show all posts
Warning: Contents Crazy
The assignment:
Write a letter to a real company in imitation of the correspondence included in the book Letters from a Nut.... Your letter must
Mailing the letter would add a fun dimension to the assignment, but it's not required. If you do mail it and receive a reply, please, by all means, let me know!
The result:
123 Easy Street
Arlington, TX 76011
May 24, 2010
Firefly Distillery
6775 Bears Bluff Road
Wadmalow Island, SC 29487
Dear Jim and Scott,
I am a huge fan of sweet tea and when I reach for a glass of something stronger, I will only drink vodka. I find it wonderful that you guys found a way to merge my two favorite drinks into one very delicious bottle! I beam with pride as I flaunt my Southern heritage at the bar every time I order a tall glass of Firefly Sweet Tea with a twist of lemon.
As much as I love your vodka, I must ask, where do you get the fireflies? I have been all over your website but I cannot find mention of them anywhere. Do you catch wild fireflies in mason jars, like we all do as kids? Or are they purely farm-raised? As a new member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, I have to know! Many people do not consider insects to be animals, but they are in the animal kingdom, even though they have an exterior skeletal structure. I do so hope you use farm-raised fireflies and that they are euthanized humanely before the distilling process begins. I say this because I fear that if it is not true, then I may need to make a hard decision between remaining a loyal customer or a loyal member of PETA.
Please let me know as soon as possible; I do not like feeling as if I am betraying a part of me to enjoy my time out for drinks with friends.
Sincerely,
[signature here]
Charisse Lyn
Write a letter to a real company in imitation of the correspondence included in the book Letters from a Nut.... Your letter must
be written to an actual company
contain an oddball request
follow all requirements stated in our correspondence lesson
be your original idea and composition
Mailing the letter would add a fun dimension to the assignment, but it's not required. If you do mail it and receive a reply, please, by all means, let me know!
The result:
123 Easy Street
Arlington, TX 76011
May 24, 2010
Firefly Distillery
6775 Bears Bluff Road
Wadmalow Island, SC 29487
Dear Jim and Scott,
I am a huge fan of sweet tea and when I reach for a glass of something stronger, I will only drink vodka. I find it wonderful that you guys found a way to merge my two favorite drinks into one very delicious bottle! I beam with pride as I flaunt my Southern heritage at the bar every time I order a tall glass of Firefly Sweet Tea with a twist of lemon.
As much as I love your vodka, I must ask, where do you get the fireflies? I have been all over your website but I cannot find mention of them anywhere. Do you catch wild fireflies in mason jars, like we all do as kids? Or are they purely farm-raised? As a new member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, I have to know! Many people do not consider insects to be animals, but they are in the animal kingdom, even though they have an exterior skeletal structure. I do so hope you use farm-raised fireflies and that they are euthanized humanely before the distilling process begins. I say this because I fear that if it is not true, then I may need to make a hard decision between remaining a loyal customer or a loyal member of PETA.
Please let me know as soon as possible; I do not like feeling as if I am betraying a part of me to enjoy my time out for drinks with friends.
Sincerely,
[signature here]
Charisse Lyn
tags:
College Writing,
NonErotica
A Good Book
Copied directly from my assignment. Not the best piece of writing ever submitted for a grade, but cute nonetheless. [Assignment: Write a 1-2 paragraph definition essay.]
~ Charisse
A good book is a faithful companion providing comfort, lifting away worries, and offering support. Like the perfect friend, a good book is comfort in a time of need. It will be there with which to curl up on the couch on a cold night, the words printed offering warmth as good and hot as any lit fireplace. On warmer days and after bad break-ups, it will be there to chill hands and sooth broken hearts like a tub of ice cream. Just as a friend offers comfort, so, too, does a friend lift away worries. A good book’s well read story will massage the mind the way a friend’s hands massage tense shoulders after a long week’s work. Heavy loads are lifted off tired shoulders by a book’s spine-breaking work, so reminiscent of a friend swooping in to help carry groceries from overloaded hands. In addition to offering comfort and taking away worries, a friend’s duty is to offer support. Support can be given in many forms but is always constant. A friend will always be there to lift spirits after a hard break-up, the same way a good book will always be there to make the reader laugh; a smile from a friend is found in every creased page and bent binding. A good book is always available to hold a hand through the many difficult periods of life. It will coax away grief just as well as a human hand.
While a good book is a faithful companion, it is never a sharp tongued partner, a heavy browed tutor, or a jealous ex-lover. A good book will never berate or talk back to the reader. It is silent and listens as tears are shed upon its well worn pages. A good book holds its owner’s mind gently between its covers, never degrading it. This soft voice of a teacher may teach lessons and morals, but it is never a demanding instructor. Stories unfold slowly for pleasure, not for detailed study. A good book is meant to be light and fun, not something that requires a forced focus of brain cells. Joy and relaxation are pivotal aspects of books, similar to the pros of finding a good boyfriend. Relationships with people can sour and ex-lovers are a jealous lot, however a good book will never get upset when another book is picked up and read. A book is always more understanding when time apart is requested; sometimes books, like friends, need time alone and time to rest - when else is the best time to take a nap on the polished floor of a shelf than when the reader finds something else to occupy his or her time? A good book knows when its reader needs more than it can provide and quietly acquiesces.
~ Charisse
A good book is a faithful companion providing comfort, lifting away worries, and offering support. Like the perfect friend, a good book is comfort in a time of need. It will be there with which to curl up on the couch on a cold night, the words printed offering warmth as good and hot as any lit fireplace. On warmer days and after bad break-ups, it will be there to chill hands and sooth broken hearts like a tub of ice cream. Just as a friend offers comfort, so, too, does a friend lift away worries. A good book’s well read story will massage the mind the way a friend’s hands massage tense shoulders after a long week’s work. Heavy loads are lifted off tired shoulders by a book’s spine-breaking work, so reminiscent of a friend swooping in to help carry groceries from overloaded hands. In addition to offering comfort and taking away worries, a friend’s duty is to offer support. Support can be given in many forms but is always constant. A friend will always be there to lift spirits after a hard break-up, the same way a good book will always be there to make the reader laugh; a smile from a friend is found in every creased page and bent binding. A good book is always available to hold a hand through the many difficult periods of life. It will coax away grief just as well as a human hand.
While a good book is a faithful companion, it is never a sharp tongued partner, a heavy browed tutor, or a jealous ex-lover. A good book will never berate or talk back to the reader. It is silent and listens as tears are shed upon its well worn pages. A good book holds its owner’s mind gently between its covers, never degrading it. This soft voice of a teacher may teach lessons and morals, but it is never a demanding instructor. Stories unfold slowly for pleasure, not for detailed study. A good book is meant to be light and fun, not something that requires a forced focus of brain cells. Joy and relaxation are pivotal aspects of books, similar to the pros of finding a good boyfriend. Relationships with people can sour and ex-lovers are a jealous lot, however a good book will never get upset when another book is picked up and read. A book is always more understanding when time apart is requested; sometimes books, like friends, need time alone and time to rest - when else is the best time to take a nap on the polished floor of a shelf than when the reader finds something else to occupy his or her time? A good book knows when its reader needs more than it can provide and quietly acquiesces.
tags:
College Writing,
Essay
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