I Refuse

My hands ache to grab a pen and scribe,
My heart aches to proclaim its beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

My mind is flooded with a physical pounding,
A need to be released is loud and beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

My fingers itch to wrap around thin plastic,
They protest to the table with steady beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

My eyes close to imagine the words on paper,
They appear to taunt me with an incessant beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

My eyes snap open with resignation,
My fingers clench into a fist for one last beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

My will is strong and the battle is won.
The silence is deafening with the lack of beating,
But my will is strong; I refuse.

To let everything stop and the flame burn out is unjust,
Gingerly my fingers grasp and writing replaces beating,
My will is strong; but it I refuse.