A Sardine Tale

I got somewhat hungry.
I had to have some sardines.
With sardines go what else than crackers?
Especially when all I eat comes in mustard sauce.
But something went wrong;
Oh so terribly wrong.

The tab to open the can was of poor construction.
The slightest of pressures and off it popped.
It was a lovely *POP* and *CLINK*.
The smaller pull ring flew across the room
The tab wound up in my hand.
Shock left me confused as to what to do.

I tried using the fork.
A fork makes a poor substitution for a tab.
All food had revenge;
I was stabbed repeatedly by the fork.
Then I snapped out of it.
I have an electric can opener!

Up and run to the kitchen went I.
A gleeful grin portrayed my intelligence.
Such an idea just CAN'T go wrong!
But then, wait!
This is oblong, that's proven for cylindrical!
Maybe I wasn't so smart after all...

Just for laughs, let's try it!
EUREKA!
Smoothly without a hitch!
Grab paper towel to wipe the top of that dern can!
Catch a whiff of that lovely fishy mustard!
Now, back to the computer!

Yes, folks, I eat sardines.
In mustard sauce by preference.
Atop Saltines crackers.
And alongside a nice cold Pepsi.
My boyfriend was shocked.
"No sex for awhile if you eat that!"

That's what he thinks.
*CHOMP* Delicious.
But not as delicious as he will be.
I will catch him off guard at night.
Slip under the covers and sidle up next to him.
Men are quite easy to persuade.